Last month, under the influence of a bottle of wine and about nine months of pent-up sexual energy, I paid a psychic on Etsy to draw my soulmate.

The evening started as most quarantine Saturdays do — I was getting drunk with my mom and then eventually went to bed to scroll Instagram when something caught my eye. A woman claimed she met the man a psychic sketched for her at Starbucks. The post had pictorial evidence of both the man and the sketch. …

- Julia LaSalvia

I’m slowly turning into the type of woman I swore I’d never become.

Before getting into “it” I want to preface by saying, I’m a feminist, okay! I see my value beyond how plausible it is that I could be Leonardo DiCaprio’s newest girlfriend’s mom. And yet, as I approach the big 3–0, I feel like preparing a eulogy for my twenties.

Something scary happens in the twenties to thirties transition: quirky personality traits evolve into concerning trends. The stories that made me legendary at 22 now feel like signs I should seek professional help. Immediately.

Am I fun-drunk or…

— Julia LaSalvia

I’ve got a bad habit and I’m finally ready to admit that it’s kinda, sorta starting to ruin my life.

Hello, my name is Juliana Marie LaSalvia and I’m addicted to getting people to like me. It’s gotten so extreme that “like” doesn’t actually feel like a strong enough word. I need to make everyone I come into contact with love me actually. Yes, that includes you, Internet Person Who Stumbled Upon This Article. I yearn for your approval more than almost anything in the world. And for the first time, I’m ready to admit that it’s a problem.


— Julia LaSalvia

This week, due to a combination of having too much free time (unemployment will do that) and being hyped up on a smorgasbord of ‘90s rom-coms (She’s All That is on Hulu now!), I thought it’d be fun to dress up like my favorite leading ladies from my birth decade. It was a grueling task — I had to watch a baby Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 10 Things I Hate About You, relive Freddie Prinze Jr.’s sexually-charged hacky sack scene in She’s All That, and dissect Cher Horowitz outfits to find their 2018-counterparts.

Would I be able to…

— Julia LaSalvia

Music I Listened to While Packing:

  • Postcard, First Aid Kit
  • Dog Years, Maggie Rogers
  • Body, Léon
  • Ivy, Frank Ocean
  • Them Changes, Thundercat
  • Gypsy, Fleetwood Mac
  • Slow Burn, Kacey Musgraves

I moved to San Francisco shortly after graduation. During the last few months of college, two distinct groups emerge — the people who know what they’re going to do and the ones who have mild panic attacks triggered by the question: “So, what’s next for you?”

When I moved back in with my parents after school, I had a real “oh fuck” moment: it suddenly dawned on me that I had no plan. Most…

Photo courtesy of

— Julia LaSalvia

As a proud member of The Selfie Generation, I find myself in constant opposition with people who claim that we’re entitled. There’s the popular narrative that we were given too many participation trophies (okay, fine, I have a few), were coddled by our parents, that the Internet made us lazy and narcissistic, and that we’re doomed for a life of disappointment as we enter the workforce and realize we’re not as “special” as our parents, teachers, coaches, and Instagram followers led us to believe.

Yes, we take selfies, post think pieces, and tweet our feelings, but is…

— Julia LaSalvia

This post is in response to Babe’s article titled, I went on a date with Aziz Ansari. It turned into the worst night of my life.

To discuss the Aziz Ansari story, I feel like it’d be helpful to start with a story of my own.

It was the summer of 2012, and my parents had just moved to Boston. I was visiting from college in California and, having zero close friends in the area, was prepared for a pretty uneventful summer. After about a week of relative solitude, one of my mom’s friend’s decided she wanted…

— Julia LaSalvia

When my boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago, I immediately downloaded every dating app possible — even one called Zoosk, which sends annoying emails everyday of “singles in your area.”

Subject Line: “Ted’s Really Excited to Meet You!”

Me, one week after joining: Is he really, Zoosk? Because I can’t keep dicking around on here forever!

Emails over text notifications felt archaic, but I was desperate — getting broken up with had put a serious dent in my ego and I was craving male validation like a starved chihuahua.

Had I let myself go…

Earlier this month, we sat down with one of the pioneers behind the Sex Tech movement, the founder of tabú, Mia Davis. We talked about everything from feminist porn, to the current state of sex ed in the US (spoiler alert: it’s not great), and her advice for future CEOs.

Check out our full convo below.

Julia, Tart: As someone who grew up in a pretty sexually repressed area (shout out to my hometown in Virginia!) I was excited to see that a platform like this exists! …

— Julia LaSalvia

I’ve come to a startling conclusion — I’ve been lying to myself a lot lately. Some are small fibs, some are flat out lies, and then there are the others — the bold untruths that I’ve successfully convinced myself are part of my reality. I’m living in my own parallel universe and honestly, it’s not bad here.

A few days ago (over an excessive amount of $5 saki at Benihana happy hour), my friend and I started talking about how we get to choose our own narratives. …

Julia LaSalvia


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